St. Joseph, Husband of Mary March 19, 2026
Fr. Alexander Albert St. Mary Magdalen, Abbeville
How can you lose Jesus? More easily than you might think. Once, when were kids, my brother and I were on a camping trip with a bunch of other people. My brother is… not a morning person. So, when everyone else was getting out of their tents and preparing to go to the place where we’d go rock climbing, my brother was trying to grab a few extra minutes of sleep. Well, he got more than a few.
With all the people and commotion, nothing seemed wrong and everyone had piled into the vans and we had gotten a few minutes down the road. Suddenly, the kid who was in the same group as my younger brother sat bolt upright and said “where is Kenny?” A few radio calls later and the whole caravan of vehicles headed back to the campsite. There he was, groggily staring at the empty tents.
A few minutes later, we piled back into the vans and headed on to our adventure, laughing about it and teasing my brother for his ability to sleep through anything. We also were grateful for the buddy-system, which is why we realized he was missing so quickly.
No one was seriously upset. It’s good and normal to let children be and not hover over them 24/7, especially when they’re old enough to know what they’re supposed to do. My brother was old enough to take care of himself and knew he was supposed to get up and help get ready to leave. Jesus was 12, which pretty close to adulthood in the ancient world. Joseph and Mary were perfectly reasonable in thinking he’d do what he was supposed to and stay with the group. That’s exactly why they ask him, “why have you done this to us?” They don’t feel guilty as if they messed up – they did nothing wrong – they feel abandoned or perhaps a little betrayed, which makes sense.
There are several reasons this story is important enough to include in scripture. One of those reasons is to show us that Jesus understood his mission even when he was young. Another reason is to allow Joseph and Mary to teach us something important about our relationship with God. Joseph and Mary didn’t just lose a child for three days, they lost God for three days. Actually, God hid from them for three days. Jesus knew exactly what he was doing to his poor mom and dad. Why do it?
Is it because Jesus was playing a prank? No. It is because God is cruel sometimes? No. Is it because God doesn’t love Joseph or Mary or us? Still no. God is always good, always loving. So, whenever Jesus does anything, he does it out of love. If we can’t immediately see how his choices full of love, it means we need to either look deeper or learn to trust him. Actually, it’s both.
Joseph is a righteous man. His foster-son Jesus was not punishing him, abandoning him, or hurting him. Jesus loves Joseph. And do y’all remember the definition of love I keep teaching y’all? “To will the good of the other.” How was making Joseph worried for three days good for him? Many reasons, not all of which we can know, but here’s two.
First, Jesus did it to remind Joseph and Mary about his real mission. Secondly, he did it so that they could be examples to us for whenever we feel abandoned by God. “Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?”
Some of you have encountered God. Some of you, when you pray or do spiritual things, you can almost feel God’s presence. You enjoy practicing your faith and even if you can’t physically feel God, it’s like he’s in the room with you. This makes it easier to pray, easier to be good, and easier to call yourself Catholic. When you can see the benefits of being Catholic, it’s easy. But being Catholic isn’t just about what we can see. It is about faith, hope, and love.
So, here’s the important question: do you love God? Or do you love the stuff God gives you? Do you love God? Or do you love the way God makes you feel? Sometimes the answer is both, but all of us are at least a little selfish. If we’re honest, we often care more about the stuff and the feelings than about God himself. Joseph and Mary were not selfish, but they are human beings. Jesus is God, but he is also their little boy, their precious child. They got to raise him, cuddle him, play with him, teach him stuff, and all the other wonderful things families do. Those are not bad things, but they are not the best thing. The best thing is God and holiness and, for Jesus, crucifixion and resurrection.
It’s not wrong for us to like God’s gifts and the way he makes us feel just like it wasn’t wrong for Joseph and Mary to enjoy dinner and games with their little boy. Eventually, however, it’s time to move from what is good to what is best. Faith and hope are virtues that only grow if we cannot see the reward. If God always makes prayer and Mass and service to others a pleasant and fun thing, we never get the chance to grow in faith and hope or the chance to purify our selfishness.
Some of you have experienced this already. Everyone who is serious about following Jesus will experience this from time to time. Sometimes it’s quick, sometimes it lasts a while. Like Jesus did to Joseph in the temple, God sometimes hides from us. He’s always still there, but suddenly we cannot feel him or see the benefits. Suddenly, we have to work hard to keep praying. The spiritual things we enjoy no longer seem enjoyable. Doing the right thing takes extra effort.
When that happens – when, not if – it happens, learn from Joseph and Mary! When God seems distant, don’t immediately assume he’s abandoned you. Way too many people make the mistake that, when being a good Catholic feels difficult, they give up. They think God hasn’t kept up his end of the deal, and some of them leave. When God does to you what Jesus did to Joseph, don’t lose faith. Instead, start looking. Keep striving to do the right thing. Examine your heart and mind. Go look for Jesus in his Father’s house. Yes, the Church, but also you are the temple of the Lord. So, when you notice he is missing, search your heart. It might take some time – it took Joseph three days.
And when you find him, listen to him. Jesus was teaching and asking questions. When you go through darkness or dryness, persevere in your faith. When you discover Jesus again, let him teach you through that experience. Looking back on the experience, you can ask yourself: “How could I lose Jesus?” Honestly, sometimes, it is your fault. Sometimes, it’s because of your sin or because you stopped paying attention. Sometimes, however, it’s just Jesus teaching you what he taught Joseph and Mary… that it’s time to move from what is good to what is better and that only when our faith is tested do we have the chance to grow. Like Abraham, if we respond to that test, that dryness, that darkness and emptiness and uncertainty with faith, it will be credited to us as righteousness.