27th Sunday of Ordinary Time, B October 6, 2024
Fr. Alexander Albert St. Mary Magdalen, Abbeville
There’s something deeply moving about seeing God incarnate give hugs to little boys and girls. We are right to relish that beauty and goodness of the scene, to allow this image to reinforce our perception of God as a kind and loving father. There are still many people who fear God in the wrong sort of way; so, prayerfully engaging with scripture passages like this one can better align our understanding with the truth.
At the same time, we must not lose sight of the lesson he gives. “Whoever does not accept the kingdom of God like a child will not enter it.” I think most people read this to mean “you should accept God’s kingdom with the same kind of trust that a child accepts God’s kingdom.” That’s a correct interpretation and quite traditional.
And yet, scripture is often layered, allowing for multiple interpretations that complement one another. What if, instead of comparing ourselves to children with that word “like,” we compare the kingdom of God and the child. As in, what if we read this to say “accept the kingdom of God the same way you accept a child?”
That reading can be just as heartwarming but there’s also some challenge written into it. Most people are rightly excited for families who announce the arrival of new child, but anyone who has been a parent knows it isn’t all warm feelings. Accepting a child into your life is hard. Especially the first time, having a child completely reorients your life: your schedule, your eating habits, your sleep, your money… almost everything in your life now revolves around this tiny, fragile human being who is cute, yes, but also incredibly demanding.
That’s a fair comparison to the Kingdom of God. Allowing God’s kingdom into your life brings joy, but it also completely reorients everything in your life. It brings beauty and goodness while putting to death your selfishness.
As children grow, you get to explore the mystery of who they are. You also gradually find more freedom, but see that freedom in a different light, realizing that time with your children isn’t something you get out of the way in order to live, it is life. Interactions with your child also teach you so much more about yourself. The same is true of the kingdom of God, which has an infinite depth of mystery to encounter but also grants a new kind of freedom and a deeper self-understanding.
I raise this comparison because it is in this way that we should receive the teachings of Christ and His Church. They are all good, but like having children, some are more challenging than others. Today’s readings propose two of the more unpopular truths of God’s kingdom in today’s world: the definition of marriage and the rejection of divorce.
Ordinarily, a child comes into the world through that uniquely life-giving relationship between man and woman. It is a relationship of love, fidelity, and self-gift that makes possible the new life that then changes everything. God’s favorite comparison for his love is that of marriage. Jesus often calls himself the bridegroom. We the Church are his bride. And it is precisely because of that comparison that the Church has always and will always insist on defining marriage as between one man and one woman. Only man and woman can produce new life, so only they can fittingly point to the life-givingness of God’s covenant with us. It is why we always hold to Jesus’ rejection of divorce. God never abandons us even when we are unfaithful and so marriage ought not to be broken even when faced with infidelity.
Yet, like having kids, the truths of God’s kingdom can be complicated when put into practice in the mess of daily life. A childless marriage is no less a marriage. What matters is the intrinsic potential, the capacity for producing life. Even when they don’t actually have children, a man and a woman in marriage can produce a unique kind of spiritual fruitfulness that is still life-giving.
The realities of marriage & divorce are likewise complicated. The Church firmly teaches that “what God has joined together, no human being must separate.” Attempting to remarry after divorce is considered adultery in God’s eyes. What matters here is that definition of “what God has joined together.” When evaluating a divorce, we have to answer this question: is this marriage something God has joined together? Annulments are our way of answering that question.
Annulments are not “Catholic divorce.” They are not a second chance at marriage. They might look like that, but appearances can be deceiving. Precisely because we have a very specific definition of marriage, we also know that people sometimes miss the mark when they try to get married. The sin and confusion in the world often makes it hard for us to see the truth clearly.
A marriage has to be total, faithful, free, and fruitful. If someone attempts to get married while rejecting one of those things, they do not become “what God has joined together.” It sometimes happens that when a person gets married, they falsely believe it’s okay to cheat. Or they think it’s only temporary. Or they are under so much psychological pressure that it isn’t free. Or perhaps they flatly refuse to be open to children. If either person says their wedding vows while believing or intending one of those falsehood, then they are not actually getting married even though they and everyone around them thinks they are married. This means there is no grace and no spiritual bond. Eventually, what looks like a marriage breaks down and fails.
When that happens, we can ask the Church to investigate. If she finds that, from the very beginning, one of those key pieces was missing, she declares that that marriage never existed in the first place. At that point, both people are free to then actually get married to someone else.
A football analogy: imagine both teams at the endzone. There’s a pileup and everyone thinks the ball crossed the line. People cheer and points get put on the board. But then, a referee calls for a review. They check the footage from several angles and see that the ball never crossed the line. Points come off the board and the game keeps going. It isn’t that he took away the touchdown, it’s that it never happened in the first place. Annulments are like that – checking to see if the “ball” of each person’s intent crossed the line of getting married.
If any of this sounds like your situation, come talk to me or Fr. Nick. We also have a lay advocate who can help. There’s no guarantee – we just look for the truth and go from there. Sometimes it’s easy, sometimes it’s hard. It can be refreshing or painful or both. But every time we sincerely go looking for the truth, we are looking for the kingdom of God. That kingdom is sometimes consoling, sometimes challenging, it gives us life and puts to death our selfishness. But in the end, only in that kingdom will we find the perfect love that nothing else on earth can give.