In the Midst of Betrayal: Homily for Good Friday

Good Friday of the Lords’ Passion                                                                             April 7, 2023
Fr. Alexander Albert                                                               St. John the Evangelist, Jeanerette

Part I of the Triduum Series here

Part III of the Triduum Series here

Betrayal is the second worst thing there is. Last night, we began this solemn journey through the holiest days of the year by exploring this theme. The Last Supper and the washing of the feet focused on preparing for betrayal. After Jesus’ own example, we are to accept that it is going to happen, to take the risk of trust, love, and vulnerability anyway, and to be prepared to love and forgive those who will one day betray us. Jesus by washing Judas’ feet offers the possibility of forgiveness to him and then commands us to do likewise.

But today we are brought to the most difficult part – actually enduring the betrayal. To know it will happen and be prepared for it may not be too difficult. We may even find it easy enough to offer our love and potential forgiveness in advance. Yet, it is when the moment comes that the sincerity of that love is put to the test.

From the moment of betrayal in the garden to the moment of Jesus’ last breath, we see many things but there is one that we do not see: resentment. There is no lashing out, no vengeance sought, not even a harsh word directed to Judas. He even prevents the protective aggression of others. “Put you sword into its scabbard.”

And this forms a pattern. His response in each step of this betrayal is not merely biting his tongue or briefly holding back anger. In each and every interaction that Jesus has during this expanding betrayal – the guards, the high priest, Pontius Pilate – he responds with the truth, but without vitriol or resentment. This pattern is the fruit of more than patience, it is the complete rejection of resentment.

Resentment – even when we think it is justified – has a way of affecting everything connected to its source. If we resent a person, we are not only harsh to that person, but to those who seem to be in league with them. The mere mention of something or someone we resent can prompt an excessive frustration towards even those unconnected to the source of our resentment. But Jesus, because he is already disposed to forgive, has taken the antidote to the poison of resentment.

That is the crucial element to surviving betrayal. I don’t mean staying alive – betrayal might kill you no matter what – but keeping your soul alive in the midst of betrayal. Not just a negative holding back of anger, but the positive use of the antidote. Suffering has a way of turning us inward to focus on the pain. We instinctively nurse the resentment and stoke our defenses.

Jesus’ example begins with his preparation – that attitude of offered forgiveness – but expands further through his turning outward in love rather than inward in his suffering. The healing of Malchus’ ear, his desire to protect Peter from turning to violence, his proclamation of the truth to Pilate, his concern for both Mother and disciple at the foot of the cross… these moments reveal more than simply surviving betrayal. He is pushing through betrayal to love all the more. The greatest expression of this is that he not only accepts betrayal, he embraces it. “Father, into your hands I commend my spirit.”

So, how do we endure betrayal when it comes? Though it might seem a trite platitude, the answer really is love. When you find yourself suffering the betrayal of someone, choose to love. We don’t have to feel a certain way, we simply have to choose the next loving thing to do. Say the words “I offer them my forgiveness.” Say the words “Lord, bless them and give them what they truly need” regardless of how you feel. And then, don’t keep focusing on them.

Choose to love those around you, whether they are connected to the betrayal or not. Discourage your friends from sinning on your account. Speak the truth about Jesus Christ to those who will listen. Take note of the suffering around you and alleviate it if you can.

Then, embrace your trial. You may be a victim of betrayal because of the choices of others, but in the midst of it, you can choose to embrace it, to say “they may have put me here, but now I choose this and I commend my betrayal and myself into God’s hands as an offering of love.”

Through it all, look to Mary. Jesus’ dying words were to entrust us to her and her to us. She above all else knows how to accompany those who have been betrayed, to model for us loving forgiveness, endurance, and the compassion that frees us from the loneliness of focusing on our suffering and our suffering alone.

How do we survive, endure, and even live in the midst of betrayal? By remembering that no matter what the world and our own suffering tell us, we are not alone and our pain is not pointless. Betrayal may be the second worst thing there is, but Christ – and Mary! and all the saints! – are in it with us. It is not the end, only one more step, one more opportunity to live and to love as Jesus did and so to rise with him as well.