Thursday Week 1 of Lent March 2, 2023
Fr. Alexander Albert Catholic High, New Iberia
“Which one of you would hand his son a stone when he asked for a loaf of bread, or a snake when he asked for a fish?” To put it bluntly, most of your parents would… they already have. When your parents gave you your own smartphone without any oversights… when they let you take unregulated internet devices into your room at night unsupervised… they have given you a snake instead of a fish. Maybe some of you have managed to avoid being bitten despite that… but many of you have been bitten, poisoned by ease of access, anonymity, and lack of accountability. Poisoned by distraction, by violence, by false information and poisoned by… you know exactly what I’m hinting at… what I won’t say in front of 4th graders. Though, sadly, even some of them know what poison I’m talking about.
Don’t get me wrong. Snakes are an important part of many ecosystems. Smartphones and the internet are powerful and useful tools. But both of them are dangerous if we forget what they are and where they belong. They are especially dangerous when you hand them to a child who is looking for fish, to a child who just wants meaningful interaction with other people.
I’m not saying this like I’m better than you. “Oh, those dang kids and their devices… it was better back in my day!” Not really. It was different. I got my first cell phone in high school and I didn’t get a smartphone until I was 26. But I did grow up with internet access – At first it was the computer in the office with dial-up internet, but I had a laptop with unrestricted access by the time I graduated High School.
Kids in my day may have had to work a little harder to get into trouble, but we still managed. And even though I didn’t grow up with a smartphone, even though I didn’t get addicted as a kid, I still have to be careful. I’m 34 years old and priest, but I don’t even trust myself with completely unrestricted access to this device. There are programs that on here that limit how long I can use certain apps and what I can access. I don’t go looking for trouble, but I know how easy it is to run into anyway, so I have safeguards in place. Why? Because it’s a snake… You can handle it safely… if you’re careful.
So I’m not saying the internet is evil and we should smash all smartphones. I’m not lecturing you kids about how terrible your generation is. I know some of you have figured out things we’ve missed. I think your generation is going to surprise us all. You’ve inherited quite the mess, so you know firsthand some of what’s at stake. If anything, I wish more parents were here so I could tell them that giving you unrestricted access to the internet – especially alone in your rooms at night – is a mortal sin. It’s a grave form of carelessness. Yes, most of you will survive, some of you will even be lucky enough to be mostly innocent, but it’s still a risk that should never be taken. Maybe you asked for a fish and were given a snake. Maybe you asked for the snake outright. It still shouldn’t have been given to you.
But God is greater than that. All parents fall short, though most of them really are trying to do what’s right. The point of Jesus’ parable is not that you have bad parents, it’s that God is an infinitely better Father than our earthly parents are. Not only would God never deceive us and give us rocks in place of bread or snakes in place of fish… he won’t give us rocks or snakes even if we ask for them. And after we go and get those rocks and snakes on our own, he’ll even help us get rid of them and start repairing the damage we’ve done.
God told Adam and Eve not to eat that fruit because he knew it would kill them. They took it anyway. But God did not abandon them. He sent his son into the mess we made so that he could take that mess upon himself, die from it, and rise again in order to lead us out of it once and for all.
That’s what Lent is all about. It’s about looking to Jesus Christ who stepped into our rocky, snake-filled mess. It’s about learning from him that our Father really does want what’s best for us, learning that we can trust him and that prayer really does make a difference if we don’t give up. Ask, Seek, Knock for whatever you think you truly want and need. But don’t forget that, unlike earthly parents, he’ll only give us what is good. I promise you that there are things you think are bad which are actually good for you and things you think are good but are actually bad for you. There’s no avoiding the difficulty of correcting those misunderstandings, but trusting God and persevering in prayer is the only reliable way through it. So, yeah, pray more this Lent. Pray hard. Pray with trust.
As for those Lenten sacrifices. I think you know what I’m going to suggest. Most of you won’t be able to go all the way, but I’ll still suggest it. If you don’t have a car and a driver’s license, you don’t need a phone because you will always be around someone who has one. If you can step up to this challenge to ditch your phone for Lent. Do it.
Still, life is complicated and a lot of you either can’t or won’t do that. Some of you probably shouldn’t even if you could. But you can – you must learn to keep that snake in it’s proper place. So, here’s a few practical suggestions for smartphone use in Lent and beyond.
Number 1 – Do not keep your phone where you can reach it from your bed. When you go to sleep, put your phone somewhere you have to stand and walk in order to reach. If you use it as an alarm clock, this will actually make it more effective. Even better, buy an actual alarm clock. Ideally, your parents should take away your phone every night at 9pm. If they don’t, maybe ask them to start.
Number 2 – set restrictions. There are quite a few apps that help with this. They can kick you off of Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, and whatever else after whatever time limit. Mine is set to let me watch about 5 minutes of videos and then block them for about 2 hours. I can check in, watch a little, and then get booted before I lose track of time and scroll for 3 hours. It also cuts me off at 9:15 to make me go to bed. These apps can straight up block certain apps and websites. They can track how long you use what so you see where your time is going. Pro tip: give the password to someone else so you can’t just override it.
Number 3 – this is related to number 2: get support. Find a friend or two who also wants to control their habits, who will take it seriously. Hold each other accountable. Ask each other about phone habits. Tell each other about mistakes and falls. Encourage each other to keep trying. Share tips and tricks with each other. This kind of vulnerability and accountability is crucial to growing in virtue. It’s also a good way to make friendships stronger and more meaningful.
The bottom line is this: God is good and wants to give you what is good. We fallen human beings all too often cling to the wrong things, so we aren’t open to what he wants to give us. For most of us, devices and the internet often play that role. Lent is a time to train ourselves to let go of what we don’t need, a time to learn to regulate and moderate the things we do need, and a time to create time and space to encounter our loving Father who gives good things – real ones – to those who ask him.