17th Sunday in Ordinary Time, C July 24, 2022
Fr. Alexander Albert St. John the Evangelist, Jeanerette
I just spent several days with my brother, sister-in-law, and my niece and nephew. At 3 and 1 years old, as you parents know, those little ones are quite the handful. I admit I kind of enjoyed watching the chaos unfold every night as they entered into the routine of dinner, bath, and bedtime. One thing that struck me again and again – you can ask my brother and his wife how many times I commented on it – what struck me was how much these littles ones were so often like little bundles of desires and demands. Fruit snacks, this toy, that tv show, corn dogs instead of green beans… my adorable little godchildren were almost constantly demanding things of their parents.
They handled it like pros, though. Granting the right demands, refusing the wrong ones, negotiating here and there, even teaching the 3 year old about managing emotions. Still, it’s a fitting lesson for us all in light of what we’re given by the Church today. What does it mean to pray? There are many kinds of prayer, but the focus today is especially on intercession: asking God for things we want. And if you consider it, the way little children act is kind of the way God tells us to act. Ask. Ask boldly, repeatedly, shamelessly. Really, that line about the friend giving what he needs “because of his persistence” could also be translated as “because of his shamelessness.”
I’ll never forget when a friend of mine confided in me that they were worried their prayers were annoying God. I almost laughed and responded “Good! That’s what He tells us to do.” Jesus offers multiple parables where a person gets what they want because they annoyed the person enough and then tells us to do that to God. So, annoyed as we are at our own children’s persistence, we should be emboldened to do the same thing to God.
By the same token, however, we must remember this when it comes to unanswered prayer. Just as my brother and his wife decide not to give endless fruit snacks and capri suns to their kids right before bed because it’s actually bad for them – even when it leads to a screaming fit – so God often does not give us what we ask because it is not what’s best. That sounds simple, but it rarely feels like a satisfying answer. So, it also helps to remember that just as toddlers cannot possibly understand the importance of good habits and healthy diet, so we often do not understand the value of trial and the true meaning of spiritual growth. An adult’s understanding is way beyond a child’s so that what we say and do doesn’t make sense to them. God’s understanding is infinitely more beyond ours so that his plan often doesn’t make sense.
Nonetheless, it’s also true that children can grow to understand. We too, with the help of grace, can grow to understand or, at the very least, to trust even when we don’t understand. I don’t say this as someone who has it all figured out. I have a number of ongoing conversations with the Lord – more like complaints and arguments really – about prayers he’s been holding back answers for. I often don’t get it. But what am I going to do? Ignore him and do it my way? I’ve seen how that ends. Pitch a fit until God caves in? Sure, why not? I do that and, sometimes, it works just like my niece sometimes gets what she wants because she doesn’t give in and just like the man in this parable gets bread because he won’t stop knocking.
And when that doesn’t work? What then? We grow. The desire deepens, or fades, or changes. Motivation grows or weakens. So long as we don’t simply turn away from God altogether, we grow. We like to think that prayer can change God’s mind, but the reality is that God uses prayers – answered and unanswered – to change us.
Abraham in the first reading begs God for mercy on Sodom and Gomorrah and he seems to get it. He seems to get a promise out of God. We know how the story ends, however. He can’t find 10 righteous people; the city is destroyed. Some people like to say that Abraham shouldn’t have stopped asking, he should have gone for 5 or even 1 and if he had, the city would be saved. Maybe. Maybe not. We don’t have any information on what might have happened. We do know what did happen. Sodom and Gomorrah are destroyed and for the rest of history are used as an important example to warn us about the dangers of sin.
But what about Abraham’s prayer? His faith? How did he grow? How is God destroying a city after promising mercy a sign of his goodness? Look closer. Listen with faith. Why did Abraham want to spare the city? Because he loved the city? No. He actively avoided it and seemed to hate it. Why does he ask? Because he loves his nephew Lot and Lot’s family. He asks because he wants to be sure God does not condemn the just. Is that not how prayer often is? We ask for something we think we want but it’s not what we really want. We want something similar, something related. Maybe we’re afraid to ask directly. Maybe we don’t really know what we want. But by asking, by persisting, the desire is purified, clarified and, if it’s truly good, granted by God.
Lot is saved even though Sodom and Gomorrah aren’t. Abraham got his real prayer answered. Abraham grows in his love of others. And God proves several things: that he wants to give us what is truly best, that he knows better than we what that it, that persevering in prayer helps us get to that point, and that he is just. Lot is saved despite the sins of his city. Lot’s wife is not. Abraham’s prayer helped to save her, but then she turned back to the city, back to sin. God’s justice will not be mocked. For God, his love is also the truth, it is also justice.
So what’s the point? Pray. Pray constantly. Be shamelessly persistent, even annoying asking things of God. Yet, do so with humility knowing that God is using your prayers to change you, not himself. Lift your desires to God, but be open to letting them fade or grow, mature or change according to God’s design. It’s fine if you’re like the toddler throwing a fit so long as you remember that God is the father who knows what’s truly best. And if maybe you’re tired of asking for things you’re not getting, try to ask for things God has already promised to grant: the Holy Spirit. Ultimately, that’s what we truly desire: the joy that only God can bring. He’ll give it to us through every prayer, every desire answered or not, so long as we keep bringing it to him.