Every year, most people begin the new year with a set of resolutions. I think this is an excellent practice and just wanted to take the opportunity to make some recommendations.
First, invite God into making your resolutions. He has a plan for our salvation and holiness. Sometimes, what He wants us to improve is not the first thing we want to improve. But if we try to act without his help, we are likely going to fail. Even if we do succeed, we run the risk of falling into pride at our accomplishment, which could leave us worse off in the long run. So, pray and ask God what he wants you to focus on. As you make your resolutions, make them with the explicit intention of seeking out and relying on God’s grace to keep them.
Second, make a resolution in a few different major areas of your life. I’d recommend one for your spiritual life, one for your health, and one for your relationships. Human beings are a complex mixture of all these dimensions and to neglect one inevitably affects the others. Obviously, I’m going to tell you that your spiritual life is the most important but I also know that it is hard to have a good prayer life if bad health or unhealthy relationships constantly take away your time and motivation.
Third, make your resolutions concrete and manageable. When we set unattainable goals, it is probably an act of pride. When we think we can just all at once will ourselves to be dramatically better at something, we are showing that we think too highly of our own abilities. For example, if you don’t exercise at all, you’re almost certainly not going to be able to suddenly rocket up to an hour every day. The same goes for prayer and relationships. Aim for small, but real improvement. Keep it a little challenging, but do so with humility and the recognition that improvement takes time.
Finally, here are some specific ideas for resolutions: If you don’t already pray every day, do that. It doesn’t have to be an hour (same thing applies as the exercise example). Make it a simple prayer every morning and every evening – what I call “bookend prayer.” In the morning, offer your day to God and ask his help. In the evening, spend about 5-10 minutes looking back on the day and asking God to help you recognize Him in it. Look for the good first, then reflect on where you may have sinned. Then ask for mercy. If you do already pray regularly, then I encourage you to add some kind of spiritual study to your day. Our video series in January is a good place to start, as is the Come Lord Jesus Bible Study. I’ll say again as I always have, if the only time you are learning about the faith is a 10 minute homily once a week, it is not enough. Resolve to not only talk at God, but to spend time listening to and learning about God.
I won’t say much about health besides the general principles of eating well and doing some physical activity every day. Each person has such different circumstances that particulars are best left up to you. For the relationships, I do have something I recommend to everyone. It to realize that resentment is the poison that kills relationships. And there is only one cure: forgiveness. Make a resolution to forgive at the start of this year. But know that forgiving does not require you to forget and it does not require you to trust that person again, only to let go of resentment and even to get to the point of being able to wish good for them. Now, realize that forgiveness is often more of a process than a single decision. It takes time and, like the other resolutions, small steps are necessary. When resentment bubbles up, a simple prayer “Lord, I want to forgive, help me to forgive.” Or if you don’t yet want to forgive, you can prayer “I want to want to forgive.” Do it again and again and you will make progress. Recall that intention with every Our Father you pray. Place resentments on the altar at the offertory. Resolve to make this a great year, full of grace, health, and above all, the healing mercy of God.