Seveneenth Sunday in Ordinary Time, C July 28, 2019
Fr. Albert St. John the Evangelist, Jeanerette
What is a good way to ruin a human being? To make them immature, selfish and entitled? Give them everything they want as a child. We even call it “spoiling” a child when a parent instantly satisfies every desire. On the opposite extreme is to never give a child anything they want or need. They might become hard-working and self-sufficient, but they are plagued by difficulty in their relationships with God and others, usually because they have problems with trust. No formula is perfect, but a key part of raising a child into a decent human being is to give them what they truly need and only a little of what they want.
This is true for God’s children too. As our Father, he wants us to be the best version of ourselves, to become saints. And saints are neither entitled nor jaded. This is why God doesn’t answer most of your prayers – at least not in the way you want Him to.
“Teach us to pray.” That’s what the disciples ask. And the answer is not just a specific set or words. It is an entire worldview. As great and necessary as the Our Father is, we can see from this different version that the point is not how you phrase your divine wish-list. Good prayer, real prayer consists of three things. That you do it. That you keep doing it. That you do it with trust.
That first point is simple, but easily overlooked. If you want answered prayers, you have to pray. Not talk, not think, not wish… pray. The very first word Jesus gives makes clear what the difference is. “Father.” Prayer is not a magic spell, but something richer… more dynamic. It is rooted in a relationship. Words and thoughts and desires are stuff we use in prayer, but prayer itself is an expression of relationship – communicating and communing with a person. So, you have to believe God is real, you have to treat him like a person, and you have to spend time relating to God. That word – relating – is so much more than simply “telling.” It can be sorrow, praise, thanksgiving, intercession, or petition – all of those are expressions of your relationship. So, what is prayer? It is relating to God.
Second, you have to keep doing it. A single mother-daughter conversation is not enough for a healthy relationship. One chat with your son doesn’t cover all the bases. Truly relating to someone means it is ongoing. But, Jesus knows we struggle with a sense of unworthiness – that we often think we don’t deserve love and other things from God. So, he gives a strangely banal parable of a man asking for food in the middle of the night. The man gets what he needs because of his “persistence.” The word he uses also implies that it is because he is “shameless.” In another place Jesus gives the example of a widow who annoys a judge into answering her.
Basically, to short-circuit Satan’s strategy to make us doubt that we should even bother God, Jesus tells us to shamelessly “annoy” God with our prayer. It’s not that God actually gets annoyed with us and gives in, but that this bizarre comparison gets us started and gives us a very human and earthly example to fall back on when we doubt our right to pray to God, to relate to him. We might think “Am I annoying God… should I stop?” To which Jesus replies, “even if you are annoying God, good! Don’t stop.”
And finally, pray with trust. Returning to the point that God is our Father, Jesus points out that parents care about their children and give them what they need. Parents do deny their children all sorts of things, but out of love, not spite. If you pray, if you persevere in prayer, and if you trust that God loves you enough to give you what you need, your prayer will “work.” No, you won’t suddenly get a Ferrari. It’s even better than that. The longer you pray… the deeper you pray and relate to God, the more what you want actually changes. The more you change.
The point of the first reading – Abraham bartering with God – is not about Abraham saving Sodom and Gomorra because he doesn’t save them. The point is that his persistence in prayer reveals his compassion. In fact, it makes him more compassionate. Besides, he wasn’t really worried about the cities. What he really wanted was to save his nephew, Lot. God knows that, so rather than answering what Abraham says, he answers what Abraham truly wants and needs and saves Lot. He answers the prayer and uses the process to make Abraham better.
Ask, seek, knock. Pray to God. Keep praying. And remember that you are relating to someone who truly loves you and wants what is best. So pray with trust. God is not a vending machine or an Amazon wish list. He is a Father. So, he does enjoy sometimes giving you little things you don’t need. But, even more than seeing you smile at your new toy, he wants to see you become the best man or woman you can be, the man or woman only you can be. This process can be hard… it can be painful and disappointing just as much – or even more than – a child who feels like his parents always say “no.” In the end, though, God isn’t saying “no.” He is simply saying “yes” to something much more valuable. Yes to love. Yes to virtue. Yes to your salvation. And yes to you becoming a saint, which is the only real happiness there is or ever will be.