Homily for Holy Family, Year B
Fr. Albert
St. Peter’s, New Iberia
I’ve heard it said that you love your family twice. You love when they come to visit, and you love when they leave. Especially during the Holiday season, I think we can all relate and it’s fair to say it’s pretty normal to feel that way. But, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that we have some pretty amazing help in the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. The bad news is that their example ultimately means more work for you and your family.
Today’s feast is an important reminder that the Son of God didn’t suddenly materialize with an adult body in a flash of divine power. No, he came as a child, complete with a family. In the Gospel, Simeon rather suddenly takes this newborn child out of his mother’s arms and calls him God’s “salvation… prepared in the sight of all the peoples, a light for revelation to the Nations.” Revelation, light, in the sight of all, yet so much seems to be hidden. This child of light and revelation then spends most of His time on earth – about 30 years – doing nothing but living with his family. Since Jesus is a man of action and integrity, what he does teaches us even more than what he says. So, his time with his family must itself be a revelation and a light to the nations.
And Pope St. John Paul II recognized that. He once said, “As the family goes, so goes the nation, and so goes the whole world in which we live.” Jesus came to save the world, and it is evident that saving the family is a key part of that plan. In fact, that is the first way the Holy Family helps our family. They show us that the road to salvation starts with your family. The path to a better world begins in the home. If you want to make a difference in the world, go love your family.
And that brings me back to the bad news, back to the fact that this reality means more work for us. But, as with any other task, doing it with love can not only make it easier, but can even make it joyful. Loving your family better takes work, but it is good work, holy work, and work that is ultimately worth it. So then, what does the Holy Family teach us about love in our own families?
Let’s start with the obedience of parents to God. We see that Mary and Joseph “fulfilled all the prescriptions of the law of the Lord.” Love is best learned from the God who is Love. And research can even point us to that. Study after study shows that parents who practice their faith are far more likely raise children who keep their faith. 60% of my generation has lost their faith. There are many reasons, but it usually has something to do with parents being lukewarm or inconsistent.
And there are other studies. Do you know the number one way to predict whether or not a child will stay in the Church? You look at their father, if he practices the faith, the odds of keeping faith more than double. And that doesn’t just mean going on Sunday, but things like prayer at home and applying the faith to other parts of life. Parents, especially fathers, your own obedience to God affects not only your soul, but that of your children. If we love our children, should we not work hard to give them the thing that matters most? Is there any better way to do that than by our own example?
And yes, there’s also the obedience of Jesus to Mary and Joseph. This applies especially to y’all in high school and college, but to all of us as well. Think about it. If you do not respect your parents now, will your children respect you in the future? If you do not respect authority, who will take you seriously when you’re in charge? Honoring your parents is the fourth commandment. It is the first commandment that doesn’t apply directly to God. It is also the first commandment where God includes a promise. The first reading from the book of Sirach tells us about that promise. Honoring your parents can bring longer life, answered prayers, and it can even make up for your sins. Yes, it’s true that your parents aren’t infallible and that honoring them doesn’t always mean blind obedience. It’s true that your loyalty to God must come before your parents. But it’s also true that honoring our parents is not optional if you want to get to heaven.
The next thing we can learn from the Holy Family might surprise you. It’s about conflict. Yes, even the Holy Family faced conflict. When Jesus was lost in the Jerusalem Temple, Mary and Joseph were pretty upset. And Jesus is surprised that they don’t get him, they don’t understand. Still, Jesus doesn’t lash out in response. He honestly expresses himself, but does so with love. Respectful honesty is essential in resolving family disputes. The fact is that every child faces situations their parents won’t understand. Often enough, it is a struggle for parents to fully embrace the fact that their child belongs to God first and that their child has their own mind and will. It is necessary to constantly strive to better understand each unique member of the family.
Every personal conflict should remind us that each of us ultimately only has control over one person: ourselves. Domination, bitterness, manipulation, and passive-aggressiveness never help. We can’t solve every problem or fix every relationship, but we can each move in the right direction if we practice the virtues St. Paul lists for us: “compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.” Indeed, that is part of why a family is important for the world. It is the first and best place to learn these virtues and to practice them. Family can drive us crazy, but it is the difficulty of putting up with other people that teaches us true charity. And, it is true charity that leads us to heaven.
Lastly, the Holy Family shows that family is a place where pain and sorrow are shared. Simeon tells Mary that a sword will pierce her heart. She will share in Jesus’ sufferings. But, because Mary is willing to share in his pain, she will also share in his victory over death. All families face suffering and pain, often enough it’s from each other, but also from life in general. But, if a family faces this pain together, if they share one another’s pain through compassion, they will grow stronger.
A sword will pierce all our hearts. I cannot guarantee that your family life will be great, but I can promise that choosing to love even when it hurts is worth it. Whole families, broken families, lost families all have this in common, we suffer. We suffer because all of humanity suffers. But Jesus Christ came to transform our suffering. He takes all of it, from the first cries at birth, through the awkward transitions of adolescence and into the aches and pains of old age. He takes the suffering of the human family and gives it hope and meaning.
The Holy Family is but one more example of God’s unending desire to make us, all of us, into His family. So, look to Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. Imitate their example of obedience and charity. Remember that Christ shares the sufferings of you and your family. Rely on their prayers and help. Then, go and love your family. Love them not just twice, but 10,000 times. Love them because God gave them to you to love. Love them, because it’s the best way to save the world, and your own soul too.
