29th Sunday OT, Year B (Farewell)
Deacon Albert
St. John the Evangelist Cathedral
“You can do whatever you set your mind to.” Really? Is that true? This claim is made by parents, teachers, advertisements, and politicians throughout our country. Children are filled with this idea from the time they are very little and hear it repeated constantly until some brutal encounter with reality shatters this fragile illusion. Then they must choose between willful naiveté, cold cynicism, or a new-found realism. How few choose the last of these!
I once wanted to be a fighter pilot and eagerly researched what it would take. I was going to “set my mind to it,” but I quickly found out it would be impossible. A fighter pilot must be short and must have perfect, uncorrected vision. I, with a father at 6’7” and needing glasses in freshman year of high school, would be wasting my time and effort. Thanks be to God my parents were straightforward with me about this reality. I’m not sure I’d have found my way to the priesthood and to my wonderful time in this parish if I would have stubbornly chased down this dream, or one of my many other dreams, with the idea that I could change reality to suit my desires.
We see this dynamic in James and John. Their ambition gets the better of them and they want Jesus to make them number 2 and 3 in the Kingdom. How does Jesus respond? “to sit at my right or at my left is not mine to give.” Jesus Christ, the God-man, savior, messiah, and king of all creation doesn’t have the power to give them what they ask? How can this be? Because God the Father, the God of reality who providently rules over history, has decreed otherwise and obedience is the only right response. This idea that we can be whatever we want is not only out of touch with reality, it is unbearably selfish. Jesus knows that framing my vocation in terms of what I want for myself is rooted in a pathetic self-interest and is ultimately fruitless. A vocation is something discovered, it is something received, not chosen arbitrarily.
This is why Jesus immediately puts the focus on leadership as an act of service and self-sacrifice: “whoever wishes to be great among you will be your servant.” This is the same man who said that “whoever wishes to save his life will lose it” and commanded “carry your cross daily and follow me.” He is not interested in satisfying superficial dreams and desires, but reaching out to souls and equipping them to respond to reality with love and authentic fruitfulness. It is a far cry from “you can do whatever you set your mind to.” But, if you set your mind to sin and illusion… for your sake, I hope you fail.
This is not as dismal as it sounds. Even with their stark realities and painful trials, Jesus thought that our lives were so valuable that he chose to be “crushed in infirmity” and “to give his life as a ransom” for us. He did not come just to take away our hopes and dreams, but to give us real hopes and dreams that go far beyond our feeble ambitions. His triumph is not taking our suffering away, but that our suffering is given meaning and made open to new life through his cross. He is able to “sympathize with our weaknesses” because “he has similarly been tested in every way.” He even showed us that this could be done without the false consolations of sin and illusion.
I am not speaking from ignorance or blind optimism. I stand here before you today only because I witnessed the destruction inflicted upon myself and others that comes from relying on my own ideas and strength. It was only after I pitifully cast myself on my bed in tears and clutching a crucifix that I learned how God’s plan for me is far better than my plan for myself. In my journey to the priesthood, I have time and again had to come face to face with the grueling reality that this life requires me to “drink the cup” which Jesus himself drank. Every Christian is called to this ongoing death to self. At some point, each of us must square with the fact that, on this side of heaven, the greatest thing a Christian can do is suffer well for the sake of Christ – our God was crucified and our heroes are martyrs.
Praised be Jesus Christ that this can be done with joy! My time here has helped me to experience that and I thank you for it, I thank God for it. People homeless and destitute who count themselves blessed because they still live to praise the Lord. Harried parishioners who find the time for confession and Mass and are grateful for it! Families drained by the constant demands of young children, but who are beaming with love! I count it joy to have spent tedious hours preparing for classes, talks, and homilies. Times of uncomfortable solitude and awkward social encounters have borne fruit in self-knowledge and courage. In facing sorrow at funerals and grappling with difficult questions, I’ve see others reaching out for God and, amazingly, finding some sign of him, some consolation in my feeble attempts to bring him to them. What a gift, what a grace! And it is something I could not have done for myself. Daily, we each must face down the temptation to seize control and make our lives about ourselves.
In the end, we might be able to do some of what we set our mind to, but we have the word of God himself promising that we can do whatever God sets us to do. James and John wanted positions of political power, but God wanted them to reign eternally with him in heaven. God’s plan for you is the same and his method is the cross – it is joyful self-sacrifice. Do not run from it! “Let us confidently approach the throne of grace to receive mercy and to find grace for timely help.” Here is the throne of Grace. As I return to seminary, I place you upon this altar and pray for you. I ask that you pray for me as I approach the priesthood. Perhaps I will see you again in this life, but I hope above all to see you all again in the ecstatic vision of God in heaven forever and ever. Amen