21st Sunday OT, Year B
Deacon Albert
St. John the Evangelist Cathedral
“If it does not please you to serve the LORD, decide today whom you will serve.” The gods of pop culture and changing fashion, the gods of your imagination and pride, or the gods of the fleeting pleasures of the flesh. As for this house, we will serve the God of reality, the Lord who gave us our flesh and blood and who gave us his own flesh and blood.
You see, there is no other option. You either worship the True God or you worship a false god – human beings always worship something, even if it’s just themselves. It’s not an abstract question, it affects how we see ourselves. As the second Vatican council put it, Christ… fully reveals man to… himself.” If we worship a false God, or if we worship the true God incorrectly, half-heartedly, we live in our false selves – we face an identity crisis. Last I saw, Facebook had 58 gender options. Just what do we think it means to be a human being?
Even if we think we know, do we live it out? Not too long ago, the website Ashley Madison was hacked and all the people who used it have had their personal information broadcast across the internet. Ashley Madison is in the business of adultery – they connect people who want to cheat on their spouses. The big news is that one of their customers is connected to the show 19 kids and counting. Despite his family being an outspoken advocate for Christian and family values, Josh Duggar has now twice shocked the world with his despicable treatment of the women in his life. What went wrong? Why did he fail to live up to the standards of being a Christian man? We pray that his repentance is real and lasting, but we learn from his mistakes as well.
“Be subordinate to one another…” “Wives should be subordinate to their husbands…” “Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the Church.” Everyone gets caught up on that second one about wives, but they’re missing the heart of the problem. In Greek, the second phrase doesn’t even have a verb, there is no word for “be subordinate” there. It is literally borrowing and reusing the verb from the first statement. In other words, there is an important context. A wife’s submission to her husband only makes sense in the context of mutual submission. In a radically individualistic culture of “whatever… I do what I want,” this command sounds ridiculous. For Christians, however, the reason is simple. God gave us free will so that we could freely give ourselves to him – freedom exists precisely so we can give it away in love. Because Original Sin came from being disobedient, Christ won our salvation by being obedient even unto death. Christ was obedient to God and to his family, so being a Christian means being obedient to God and to our spiritual family. Now Paul knows that that sounds vague, so he gets a little more specific; this is where our culture runs into the most trouble.
Paul knows that men and women are different. Both are human, both are made in the image of God, both have equal dignity, but they are not the same biologically, psychologically, or spiritually. We learn some things about God from nature, including human nature. Masculinity gives us some insight into God’s giving, exterior activity. Femininity gives us insight into God’s inward, contemplative receptivity. There is a lot to say here, but Paul focuses on one: Man is called the “head” of his wife – he is meant to lead, to take initiative in serving his wife. His wife is supposed to receive that leadership and direct it toward true life. All of this only makes sense if both spouses are actually trying to live as Christians – neither of the spouses is expected to serve or to obey mere sinful desire or to cooperate with perversion.
Why? There are two reasons: One, it is the most direct attack we can make on the devil. Sinful man, instead of “giving” eithers fails to give at all – as Adam failed to give his help to Eve in resisting Satan – or else imposes on others what should not be given – as Josh Duggar gave away what belongs to his wife first to pornography and then to other women. Sinful woman, instead of being receptive turns to either taking what is not given – as Eve did with the apple – or refusing the gift – as our culture does when it calls pregnancy a “disease.” Both Adam and Eve were guilty of the first sin, but in different ways. So it makes sense that their saving obedience takes on different but related forms.
Secondly, and far more importantly, even before original sin God gave everything in the universe a part to play in revealing his love to us. Men and women have equally valuable, but different parts to play. They reveal the God and show us the relationship between Christ and the Church. Man images the initiation of God, most perfectly seen in Christ and Woman images the loving response that mankind is supposed to make, most perfectly seen in Mary. Yes, there will be some mutual overlap in the specific examples, but the basic paradigm is true. Both Peter and Paul teach this in their letters and base it on other Scripture. Perhaps we hear this and, like the crowd in the gospel we or those we love hear this and say “this saying is hard, who can accept it?” Yet, it is also truly life-giving. The Eucharist itself manifests this: Christ, a man, through the hands of the priest, gives himself in the Eucharist under the appearance of bread and wine. He gives himself to the Church, whom we call “mother” and Christ’s “bride.” Our mother, the Church, receives this gift and allows it to bring life to her children – all the baptized.
What does this mean practically? It means that “serving the Lord” starts with accepting the reality he gave us, male and female. It means that every marriage is supposed to be an example of the Love between Christ and the Church – that’s why we will never change our teaching on divorce and that is why there is such a close connection between the sacraments of Marriage and the Eucharist. It means that living together or sleeping together before marriage is a half-truth, an attempt to simultaneously hold back on yourself and take fully from the other – It’s like receiving the Eucharist, tasting it a moment, and spitting it out. We do not deal in half-truths.
Finally, John Paul II famously said “as the family goes, so goes the nation.” How do you think the nation is doing? If you want to improve it, take a good look at your own family life. If you’re single, take a good look at your place in the human family, the family of the Church. Men, do you accept the gift of your masculinity? Not false machismo and physical power, but a heart of virtue – a heart that strives for purity at any cost, a heart that models itself on Christ’s service and goes to find opportunities to serve without coercion or personal gain. Women, do you accept the gift of your femininity? Not a false idea of being passive or weak, but a heart that serves as Mary served Elizabeth, a heart seeks its self-worth in the gifts of God, not friends, lovers, or admirers; a heart that embraces its potential for life, its spiritual and physical fertility without artificial control.
Both should be chaste, prayerful, mutually subordinate, and seek accountability. Both must look to the Eucharist: learn from his total gift to serve one another. Learn to receive him and each other fully by avoiding sin and seeking forgiveness where you’ve fallen.
If perhaps this “saying is hard” for you or those you love, then learn from the Israelites. Remember that “It was the Lord… who brought us… out… of slavery.” Recall what God has done in salvation history and in your own life. Christ greatly desires the obedience of the crowd, but he allows them their freedom. With love and invitation in his eyes, he simply turns to his closest friends and asks “Do you also want to leave?” What God will you serve?” These things are indeed a Great mystery and maybe a difficult one, but they are a mystery of love, of relationship. Even if we or those we love do not fully understand, love and trust will suffice: “Master, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.”